It is hard to conjure and muddle up all of what I am feeling right now.
For the past few months I have been considerably busy trying to sort out my ‘priorities’ for this summer since travelling leisurely is no where in the picture. I got a new job working for my mum’s brand new business, been sorting out my university applications, trying to keep up with my summer rugby training and also trying to keep up with my video projects like ‘The Green Life’.
All this has made it seem like there were no time for thoughts…or so I had hoped.
Why do they always come back? Those enormous thoughts that you just do not want to think about. Those unwilling thoughts that occupy the lion’s share of your day, but then solemnly make you grin and then smile. They make you feel the vibrations of your heart and then make you feel all jiggly inside…WHY?!
Yes! I am trying to fight that great…amazing…weirdly descriptive feeling. The more I would try to ignore them the more they would end up grabbing a hold of my attention. Pretending never lasts long I guess. Might as well fall in a hole and sink in those pleasurable thoughts.
Love is a pain. It seems like a curse. A curse that plunges a gaping hole in your heart. Seems like a blessing. Sigh that kind of love is feather-like, almost arrowed by god himself rather than silly cupid. Or a gift. One you would not expect arriving straight to your door. It can turn your beautiful sunshined-filled morning to grey depressing clouds. your monster like ogre mood to a care free loving attitude. All in all its a horrible mix.
It has never been a right time for me…finding someone great that is.
As I decide to rotate around seeing who is around me, no one worthwhile turns my way, but the moment I’m done with rotating is when the right kinda guy shows up and to my inconvenience he has shown up at the very wrong time…
Right here right now is not the right time, but that does not mean that there is nothing that can’t be done. If one is willing to act, one shall act. And I will.
Love has overcome me to my greatest extent yet and it has more to teach than I might learn. My emotions are running wild and they will not stop until my words are made clear by the movement of my lips saying, ‘I love you‘.
Oh what a crazy summer this will turn out to be.