Sun.

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When the Earth keeps revolving and my vision spins me out of control into a vortex, I think of what this life is really for and it all stops. An aura of colors and lights brushes themselves across the sky and that circle within those colors, the circle we all know and see, opens my eyes, warms and brightens my face and reminds to just keep moving. Anything is possible. It is all just a matter of how you use the sunlight.

The.Elephant.

  I recently returned home to the country I grew up in and got to see a lot of familiar faces. Most of them were people I genuinely missed. My loved ones and very close  friends. Then there were the occasional few you honestly dont care too much for. Your ‘Hi…Bye’ aquaintances. 

Then I saw Him. The one I nearly fell in love with. The one who was the seed to all my endless thoughts both sad and happy. Mostly sad. I saw him where I knew I would find him. On the rugby pitch playing some touch rugby. No surprises there, but I saw him and laughed. I felt nothing. No pain. No sadness and certainly no regrets. I was quick to remind myself that I did everything and showed him everything I could back then to convey how I felt for him and he absorbed all that information in and took it as nothing. Or so it felt like.
What do you do with people like that?
If I were weaker than I am today I would have wanted to wait until he was done playing rugby. Waited for him to come near enough for one of us to approach each other and catch up. Thing is were not really friends. 
Technically we are friends. Now…just the kind who dont really care for each other so what I did was simply nothing. I did not wait for him. I did not talk to his friends about him. I did not really care. Feels so different to not care at all than to pretend to not care at all and that huge difference felt good. I simply saw who I felt like seeing and left the rugby club.
There is no need to take the extra step for anyone who would not and will not take the extra step for you. Let them stay there in their corner and I in mine. Only difference now is there would be no elephant in the room simply because now I can say that we both have mutual feelings for one another. We both just dont care anymore. 

New.Job: Arising.Challenges

Challenges are always arising everyday with my job.

Some challenges are not so 3_of_the_Biggest_Challenges_Facing_Financial_Executives_Todayhard to complete but others make me feel so fearful of disrupting the service i have to provide that it gives me crazy nerves the day before i have to go in to work. I get so nervous and shaky sometimes that I literally have to mentally talk to myself and say,

‘Its okay to be afraid, but I shouldn’t start thinking and coming up with excuses to get me out of what I may have to do. I should just go through with it. If I fail then so be it I fail, but I will learn from all the mistakes I have done and will do better tomorrow. If I succeed then so be it I will improve on what I have just done and become not only faster, but smarter as an employee.’

In the long run I know and understand that all these challenges will make me stronger as a person or so I feel. The customer profile I have to deal with everyday is so diverse and so its good a thing. It will allow and remind me to be more culturally aware and be able to handle anything that may come my way in regards to my customers, decision making and output at work.

If only I did not have to be so afraid. But i tell you that when my job is over and I get home to my bed…I am the happiest person. I just lay down and putting everything and all my worries behind me and await for a new day and challenge to arise.

The other side of fear

Absolutely agree with Christian Mihai. Straight forward post about how fear can minuscule our potential of being successful in what ever we do or want to be day by day.

Cristian Mihai

fear“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”Jack Canfield

Let me tell you about fear. It’s poison. It’s poison for your mind. It makes you lose control, it makes you freeze, it makes you take the wrong decision. When you let fear take over, you’re just an echo of your former self. An empty shadow and nothing more.

But we’re all afraid, aren’t we? Even the brave are afraid. There’s no such thing as fearless. There’s always something to be afraid of. What will happen, what might happen, what we might lose, what we might never gain.

So… what is there to be had on the other side of fear?

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GRADUATION.

I remember the very first post I wrote on my blog. It was pretty much about my background and what I wanted to do in life. I also remember me mentioning in my following post how I just wanted to get out and away and do my own thing without being tied down by my family.Its amazing how things work sometimes.IMG_7255

I got exactly what I wanted, but not the way I imagined I would get it. I am now happy to say that my wish has come true and I am not taking it for granted. I have moved abroad solo and I am now learning how to survive on my very own. I may be a 45 min flight away from my family, but it is still different and very life changing for me. I am in love with my new job so far. I have only been going through training, but I will be graduating tomorrow and go about doing my own thing at work. All the hard work has made everything worth it. I’ve already had to learn things the hard way,but its all a matter of how I choose to take in all that I have endured. Negatives and positives are every where. I don’t think we can live in a world where everything is positive and vice versa not that it would be so horrible to live in a world of which is full of positive things, but taking in the negatives is not only what makes us mentally stronger, but it helps us grow to be the best that we can be if we choose it and one day I hope to just move up in the ranks. I don’t have my dream job yet, but I can say that I am on my way there and I am actually probably on the right track.

So, taking things step by step responsibly is key here. As of tomorrow I will be a qualified employee in a field related to Meteorology Aviation. Now its time to close my books for a while and go out, make new friends and just have fun. Tonight is gonna be a good night.

Finally.Back!

FINALLY! I am happy to say that I am back on WordPress!

A lot has happened over the past few months and not having a laptop to use made not writing all my life events down on my blog all the more desirable. I don’t know why, but I’m sure that everyone is the same in the sense where if we do not have something that we are used to having like electronics for instance, we can think of all the hundreds of ideas and reasons as to why it is all the more important we need to have that electronic item. Like my lappy for instance. I moved abroad away from the nest and a week after doing so my laptop was out in to a techno-coma KAPUT! It never switched on again. I was devastated, because not only did I need a laptop for my new job, but the stuff that was on my laptop just disappeared in an instance. How depressing. Our attachment to our things makes life so much more complicated when really it shouldn’t.

All in all I managed to save enough money to buy myself a brand new laptop and this is the one decision I could never really regret doing. Im one step happier watching my movies in bed and typing my thoughts in the dark watching all the street lights come on one by one after sunset (with my new speakers I received along with the purchasing my new laptop by the way.)

HAPPY DAYS 20141130_102824