I’ll Tell You This…

Majority of our lives are based on plans and dreams. These agents of life are created by us humans in addition to our everyday lives with hopes that our day will go by and run efficiently. We all set long-term goals and have dreams. Our dreams are so precious and crucial to us all. They brighten or self-esteem and give us hope. They help when it comes to defining the kind of people we are. They get us in to action with hopes that we achieve our dreams and just be happy.

I have my own dreams. Some of  which my best friends and family know about and some of which they do not. It is never an easy road trying to achieve your dreams, but if it appears to be to you…well then you’re pretty darn lucky.  However, when it feels like your dreams dim out it can be extremely disappointing. No matter how hard you try to believe. When that happens to me it truly feels like a part of me is being squeezed out and crushed. Then I ‘create’ those thoughts where I believe that fate might have something to do with all this and sometimes its true and sometimes it isn’t. I sadly tend to elongate those thoughts until they become all I ever think about during the day.

Theres so much controversy that goes on in my head. I go back and forth with good thoughts than counter them with bad thoughts and then counter them with good thoughts again! And it never stops until that dream is right at my door step. The moment it lets me in and allows me to grasp at it or the moment it shuts the door in my face always creates a change in my mood and life. Sometimes it changes me forever…in a mental sort of way that is.

But I’ll tell you this. There are times when I have not succeeded. There are times when I have fallen. There are times where I have felt like my life is literally doomed, like right now for instance, but no matter how I feel I know that I’ll always end up somewhere and that I will be ok. I have my family and my closest friends who always stay by me no matter how bad or good times get. So that is something special for me to hold on to.

Family and friends will always be there which is reassuring. They can put you back on track when you fall off completely. And right now I feel like I might fall off the path I am on right and might end up on a different one.

It definitely is not the path I planned, but for some reason it feels like it could be a path I might prefer, but I am honestly worried, because this could change a lot more than I expected, but it will test myself and the people around me.

I know that it will be ok. Everything always turns out to be… right?

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