I recently returned home to the country I grew up in and got to see a lot of familiar faces. Most of them were people I genuinely missed. My loved ones and very close friends. Then there were the occasional few you honestly dont care too much for. Your ‘Hi…Bye’ aquaintances.
Then I saw Him. The one I nearly fell in love with. The one who was the seed to all my endless thoughts both sad and happy. Mostly sad. I saw him where I knew I would find him. On the rugby pitch playing some touch rugby. No surprises there, but I saw him and laughed. I felt nothing. No pain. No sadness and certainly no regrets. I was quick to remind myself that I did everything and showed him everything I could back then to convey how I felt for him and he absorbed all that information in and took it as nothing. Or so it felt like.
What do you do with people like that?
If I were weaker than I am today I would have wanted to wait until he was done playing rugby. Waited for him to come near enough for one of us to approach each other and catch up. Thing is were not really friends.
Technically we are friends. Now…just the kind who dont really care for each other so what I did was simply nothing. I did not wait for him. I did not talk to his friends about him. I did not really care. Feels so different to not care at all than to pretend to not care at all and that huge difference felt good. I simply saw who I felt like seeing and left the rugby club.
There is no need to take the extra step for anyone who would not and will not take the extra step for you. Let them stay there in their corner and I in mine. Only difference now is there would be no elephant in the room simply because now I can say that we both have mutual feelings for one another. We both just dont care anymore.