Just.Be.You

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Yeaaaaaa I tell myself this simple easy peasy advice at the wrong. Every single time I get home or get done hanging with some guy after a night out.

If it is a guy I admire or fancy or like I become a little bit weird. Its like some weird thing like an impulse that just triggers and I become extra goofy or extra shy or extra quiet or extra dorky. Very ‘not subtle’ just to quote my friend when she described me at a seminar I was working at with her just yesterday.

The speaker was peculiarly attractive to me. I had heard a lot about him and once I put a face to the name…I might as well have forgotten his name because his face was just…strangely attractive to me. Strangely because he is obviously not the type I would go for but anyhow.

I couldn’t stop giggling at everything…really loud…my body language changed at the buffet and my posture was striking…strikingly ridiculously correct. Now why can’t I have a posture like that all the time. We had to be in a very formal work ethic sort of attire, of which I never really get the opportunity to be in. I borrowed a high waisted pencil skirt from my sister and she threw along her ruffled shirt. I’m not to fond of ruffles, however I didn’t complain although it made me feel like I was in Tudors the drama series.

But the effect he had on me just for the period of time of when I was around him was stressful and ridiculous. I let it get to me.

There have been a number of times where I mentally FACE PALM myself. I get really bad once my nerves kick in. I won’t say I become someone else, but I would say I become a little bit much to the point where I tell myself to calm myself down and just be myself before its too late and this guy thinks you’re an absolute sketchy maniac.

Just be yourself is all I can say from my past experiences…of just last night and well…other nights. I thought I mastered the ‘calmness effect’ of when I am around guys…but I clearly haven’t…what to do what to do…

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