Sometimes I can’t help but feel like my dad feels as though he is responsible for how my academic life has taken a slow turn.
Before us children he generously helped our relatives and the majority of our neighbors back home in Cameroon in many ways, whether it be by sending money back home to make sure that everyone was okay or whether it be by paying for someone else’s education in order for them to secure a successful future. I personally am proud of him. He puts other before himself.
I know that the main aim for my dad is to support and get us all through our education like any other loving father. However, due to some unfortunate family issues I, being the 7th out of 8 children have had a halt in that department. It has been tough, but dealing with what has been going on came with the package of dealing with it. Making things better was the challenge. I never gave up and the more the present drew near the more successful things were appearing to be.
Today things still aren’t the same and I won’t say that our family is stable once again, but there a lot of decisions to be made…specifically by me. Everything to do with my education is currently falling on to my chest, however I know that my dad feels as though he should be the one to have to own those ‘decisions’.
I feel as though he sometimes feels like he has failed my youngest brother and I. But he hasn’t really, because he took is not giving up. He is as persistent as ever.
I know and understand that it is me who has to take the reins now, because what I choose to do and study now may affect my life forever. It is a good feeling that it scares me a little. That means its a real challenge.
I now need to show my dad that it is okay and that everything will work out accordingly in time. If God wants it.
I need to make my own NEW path and adjust so I too can be happy.
I have the power, because it is my life.